Marriage is not a "must" task due to age pressure, the words of those around you, or the role models of others; rather, it is a completely chosen path in each person's life. Unfortunately, many people force themselves into a relationship simply because of fear of being too old or lacking sufficient awareness; while the first and most important step for a successful marriage is to achieve "individual psychological readiness" and take responsibility for past harms and wrong behaviors. Until we can recognize and treat our own destructive behaviors (such as prolonged anger, distrust resulting from previous blows, or lack of anger control), entering a new relationship will only repeat the cycle of successive harms and failures.
One of the mistaken beliefs of today's society is the absolute opposition to traditional dating methods and, in contrast, the inappropriate and blind reliance on "premarital counseling." Traditional introductions can be a great way to get to know each other, because the families know each other relatively well and have a common cultural background. But we must be completely realistic about premarital counseling: a counselor can never determine whether two people are compatible in 3 or 4 sessions and with a few imprecise personality tests! Most of these tests do not even have a precise scientific evaluation and are not capable of measuring the degree of "liking", "emotional passion" and "personal need for a companion"; on the other hand, people's responses to these tests are usually not honest due to fear of judgment.
There is a fundamental and very important difference between "similarity", "understanding" and "personality". Couples need differences in personality to grow and complement each other, and absolute similarity can even cause boredom and fatigue in the relationship. True understanding means understanding and accepting the differences of the other party without trying to change him. In many cases, premarital counseling, instead of providing guidance, creates unnecessary doubts in good relationships or gives false assurance. The only real and useful use of counseling is for the individual to assess their own readiness to enter into a relationship during multiple sessions, not for a third party to give a definitive opinion on the fate of two people.